What do you think about mens stag/bachelor parties, involving female strippers and lap dances?,,?
Now I’ve looked at numerous questions and answers already regarding this, and came across the two different views; women either saying ‘No it’s not fair if you are in a relationship it shouldn’t happen,’ and other women saying ‘You are just insecure if you won’t let your man have a lap dance at a stag party.’ Personaly, I think it is EXTREMELY out of order. Whether you are, or are not ‘insecure’ about yourself, I think out of principle, if you’re in a relationship, as a woman you should have enough respect for yourself to say no I don’t want you in the presence of a half naked woman. (In my eyes, having your man being aroused by some half naked stranger dancing upon him, is as good as cheating) I also think that if your man loves you, he should not even want to lay eyes on another woman, I don’t care if it’s only supposedly ‘a bit of harmless fun’ Can you imagine how your man would feel if you were to have a male stranger dancing upon you shaking his penis in your face! Why is it so excepted for men to go off enjoying women’s company in such a way? I think it’d disgusting. The whole point of marriage is to spend your life in love forever, being loyal and faithful. So just why is it that we have dirty parties the night before the Wedding? Does this not go against everything that marriage is about? It just seems to me that nowadays people lack morals and self respect, and it upsets me. I am very old fashioned when it comes to relationships and marriage, and I just cannot get my head around why people would want to, and allow, their partner, to have ‘one last night before the wedding of being free and able to have sexual fun with another person.’ I mean, is there anyone out there that can see what I mean does anyone agree with what I’m saying? I set my own standards, not by others, and I can’t stand the fact that it has just became normality that men are allowed to perv at other woman whilst in a relationship, simply because ‘everybody else does it.’ I know for sure that a ‘fun night out with the lads’ or a stag party, there is no way I would be happy with my partner taking part in such activity, and if he even wanted to, I’d be insulted and hurt. I would feel like I was not enough to satisfy him and if that’s so, why would I want to be in that relationship feeling inadequate and disrespected. When you post this type of question, a lot of men answer saying ‘oh it’s just a bit of fun.’ But no, to some of us women, it’s not a bit of fun; it’s crossing the line of love and trust. Are there any Gentlemen out there today? Do they still exist? Both female and male responses are welcome and appreciated; thank you this is then end of my rant.
Thank you for all of your answers, all very interesting points, I can’t decide a best answer at the moment, but I think Melissa pointed out something good that I didn’t; that Male strippers is more of a tacky amusing if not, embarrasing show, rather than a turn on. Whereas with female strippers, it’s extremely arousing for the man, not tacky or humerous, but very up close and personal, in your face, very seductive and erotic, sometimes even touching and grinding upon the man. And like JD said, why would you want to celebrate one last jolly night of not being married, right before you are about to! If you want to get married, why would you want to get so intimate with strangers the night before the wedding like some kind of exciting last bonus? And although Poppet got some thumbs down, it’s true, it’s not appropriate to get intimate with naked people any other time in a relationship, WHY does it make it okay that it’s in a club and it’s payed for? All answers much appreciatted, thanks:)
I didn’t have strippers for my party.
Neither did several of my friends who have gotten married in the last few years.
In fact, my brother, who is a wild guy didn’t have one.
As men, we are highly visually stimulated. I’m not saying that women aren’t, but men are more so.
On your wedding night, the last thing you want dear husband to do is "play back" those "tapes" in his mind while he is making love to you.
Most of the time he won’t be doing it on purpose, but if he does, it’s because he can’t help it. Especially if he is all charged up after seeing a hot women lap dancing him!
We live in the digital age. With this sucky economy, wait till his boss *just happens* to see those pictures!
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I completely agree, my partner went on his stag do the other week, I can only say i felt physically sick at the thought of him looking at another womans body, its no different than cheating in my book.
I myself would never entertain the thought of going to see a male stripper either, just not in my nature.
needless to say my fiance didn’t see one………as far as I know!
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i dont agree im one of these women who say ‘have fun’ im having a stripper on my hen night so i wil have a naked man ’shaking his penis’ in my face, the same as he will have a woman shaing her breasts in his lol
we know we are in love and no amouont of naked men/women are gonna change that fact
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my own opinion, im expecting a lot of thumbs down but everyone is entitled to their opinion
well i didn’t read your whole question sorry, but i told my fiancee i didn’t care if they went to the strip club , however i did ask if his Buddy’s buy him a private room dance not to do it, and he agreed, then he went on to tell me he didn’t care to go to a strip club at all. but even if he did i wouldn’t care .
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I’m against people (either gender) in committed relationships purchasing the skills of a stripper/dancer. Why? Because if it is inappropriate in any other setting why would it suddenly be okay since you paid for it and MIGHT be in a "special" building.
Example:
I come home and find my BFF (in a thong only) giving my husband (fully dressed) a lap dance. Is this appropriate? No. Would it be appropriate if he had been at the office? No. The grocery store? No. The library? No. What if he was paying her, would that make it okay? No.
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I suppose it depends on the kind of relationship you have. Some couples have different limits. My friends got me a male stripper for my hen’s night although I repeatedly asked them not to. They asked my fiancé if he was ok with it and he said yes. So it was no big deal. Wasn’t a full strip either and to be honest it just embarrassed me. For his stag he had no stripper and I must say I wouldn’t have liked it although I wouldn’t have made a huge deal of it. Instead his friends took him on a weekend away and they visited a number of nightclubs and pubs. They gathered 100 pictures of my fiance with girls (nothing inappropriate, just standing next to each other, fully clothed obviously and in public). I was ok with this.
But if some women are ok with the striptease and lap dance, then why not?
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I believe its all a matter of personal opinion and preference,I dont believe there are any wrong answers to this question,I believe is a couple agrees to have them,as long as its fine with the the partner I dont see anything wrong with it.
I personally prefer not to have a stripper at our party.We have decided to have a joined party at his request and have dinner and go out with all our friends afterwords.He would rather watch me strip I guess,as I would rather see him naked as well.
Pretty good question though!Im gonna star it!
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Getting married 5-22-10
I didn’t have strippers for my party.
Neither did several of my friends who have gotten married in the last few years.
In fact, my brother, who is a wild guy didn’t have one.
As men, we are highly visually stimulated. I’m not saying that women aren’t, but men are more so.
On your wedding night, the last thing you want dear husband to do is "play back" those "tapes" in his mind while he is making love to you.
Most of the time he won’t be doing it on purpose, but if he does, it’s because he can’t help it. Especially if he is all charged up after seeing a hot women lap dancing him!
We live in the digital age. With this sucky economy, wait till his boss *just happens* to see those pictures!
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My husband (thankfully) isn’t really into strip clubs and all that, so he didn’t want that type of thing going on anyway. He went to his parents lakehouse with his friends and fished and drank beer. However, I personally do not think strip clubs are a good idea. I agree with what you said, and I’m not insecure. I trust him 100%, but it’s a matter of respect for me. Also, I read some article about "confessions or a stripper" and some of the things she revealed I could NOT BELIEVE. (I know not all strippers are the same, but I was truly shocked.) She said for house parties/stags/bachelor parties it would usually be herself and another stripper (& a bodyguard) and they would dance and get completely naked, lick stuff off eachother and sometimes perform sex acts on eachother or with toys. Which I find disgusting. Not to mention grinding on all them men…and everyone has "their price" so private things did go on too.
On the other hand, I attended a bachelorette party last year and (unbeknownst to me) there was a male stripper. The difference was, it wasn’t serious…it was almost kinda uncomfortable…like he was really just an entertainer. We were doing more giggling than anything. It wasn’t like "OMG he’s so hot, I’m so turned on!" It was like "OMG – I can’t believe he’s wearing a purple sequined outfit and cowboy hat!!" (Also, I have heard that most male strippers are homosexual. Not sure if that’s true, but I have heard that. And this guy certainly was entertaining to us!)
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I’m with you 110% !!
Plus…. men seeing female strippers is NOT the same as women seeing male strippers..
Male strippers basically put on a show.. its not sexy.. its all quite embarrassing and tacky! Not at all a turn on..
Where for men it is a turn on..
I went to a bday party once for a male friend of mine..
They ordered a in home stripper to come and do her thing for him..
Well let me just say .. it was NOT just a lap dance…
It was literally pus*sy in the face… dry humping, a*s touching and booby shaking… she did some crazy sick things..
So i can not even imagine what would go on at a bachelor party with all drunk men!…
I trust my man, but that behavior is just inappropriate!
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I’m very much in agreement with the points you are making. I strongly believe that when you are in a committed relationship part of that commitment involves respect and as you described, in my mind a night with a bunch of strippers (either gender) voids that respect. If any person in a relationship wants to have the opposite’s sexual parts exploited to them I think then that there is something wrong with the person. They aren’t entirely happy because if they were they wouldn’t feel the need to be involved in such gross displays. Hell, I’ll do the lap dance for my fiance if that’s what he’s looking for in a heart beat. Buy me a pole to put in our living room and I’ll strip for him no problem. See, he can get these things at home why would he need to go out with his buddies to get it? Lucky for me, my fiance shares the view that strippers are for the most part disgusting (men and women alike). I’ve never had a desire to watch some guy shake his junk in my face, in fact I’d probably be the one to puke all over him! There’s nothing attractive about it. I guess I just think that there’s more to relationships than simple sexual pleasure or arousal.
My fiance and I are having a jack and jill party (joined together bachlor/bachlorette party) because we’re celebrating the fact that we are getting married and to let all those close to us know that we are committed to one another. It’s about he and I spending the rest of our lives together not about him (or me for that matter) getting one last jolly out of not being married – hell we’ve been together 8 years – relationships mature I guess is the difference between us and some other couples.
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If he asks me to dance for him I dance!
I think more than anything, along with being disrespectful, it’s degrading to the fiancee.
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