”I’m available, since I don’t have a life,” Cathy, my client told me when we were trying to schedule our next coaching session. When I probed further, it turned out that although she had a full time job, had occasional acting assignments, volunteered at a museum, was active with friends and her family-she still considered herself “life-less.” Translation: She had no man in her life.

As my fellow Baby Boomers will bear out, I learned at an early age that the right life for a woman was to finish school; become a teacher, nurse or secretary; get married; have kids; stay home and live happily ever after. That was certainly not the life I ended up with and yet some of those old cultural norms continued to haunt me. I’m now 62, it’s been twenty years since my last divorce and I acknowledge I may never find Mr. Right. For many years I hoped to find Prince Charming who would save me–and yes– complete me.  I have (finally) learned to dismiss three common myths.

1. Being single means I’m not enough. Have you ever thought, “If only I was prettier, thinner, younger etc., a man would love me.” Have you ever looked at someone and said, ”If she can get someone–I must be really awful?”  I realized I didn’t want just anyone–I had identified must haves for any future partner. I already have a good life and I’m not willing to risk my peaceful life just to have someone on my arm. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with you–perhaps too much is right with you–you want the right one and are willing to wait.

2. Being single means less fun. I dreaded going alone to company functions and weddings. I fantasized having this perfect partner who would have an in-depth conversation at dinner then dance up a storm when the music began.Through the years, I watched many couples spend most of their evening apart. Often the woman wanted to dance and the man didn’t. And after spending their days and nights together, each of them found others they hadn’t seen in awhile to converse with. In fact, I often talked longer to the husband than the wife did during the evening.

3. Being single limits your options. I can remember walking into a movie alone and was pleased when someone sat next to me so people wouldn’t think I was a loser. I’ve gone to dinner by myself pretending I’m on a business trip–so of course, it’s ok I’m alone.While I do prefer having someone along to share many experiences with me, if it’s something I really want to do–I’ll go alone. Besides movies and dinner, I have taken vacations by myself and attended concerts alone (I confess–my friends make fun of my taste in music).Who could have known that these previous solo adventures would give me the confidence to create my dream life-have my own business and move to a warmer climate. I remember that most people were amazed when I told them I was moving to North Carolina without knowing anyone. I’ve learned not to waste time waiting for someone or something before I can truly live.

The time to get a life is now.  Find your passion and create a life that brings you joy and purpose.  

Jane Falter
http://www.articlesbase.com/coaching-articles/getting-a-lifeeven-if-youre-single-613006.html